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Level 5 Writer
Ranked as Civilian
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There was once a travelling bard that was known throughout the land. His name, no one knew. Due to his contract with a music company, however, most called him “The man not owned by none”. He stopped by the Featureless Village for a show when he came about the Guard’s recruitment flyer. “Don’t be a bard, join the town guard!” it said mockingly. He was enraged; how could they make a mockery of such a proud profession? It was then that his angered frown turned upside-down into a sinister smile, a diabolical plot brooding in his mind. He immediately got to work writing a special song for the next day’s show.
The next day came, and the cheers from the crowd could be heard from miles away. “Hello, Featureless Village!” the bard shouted with bags under his eyes from his late-night composing. The audience cheered louder, and his smile shined with a lingering sinister glow. “Today I’ve got a special song that I wrote just for you!” The crowd’s cheering grew even louder and suddenly ceased altogether as the music began to play, all the villagers giddy with anticipation. The melody drifted through the air in its peaceful yet ironic tones, and in his voice that surged in waves through the crowd, he began to sing his song:
“Ketamine’s the thing that took her,
Shoved her in a pressure cooker,
Inside which is all organic,
Unlike our lizard leaders; panic!
If a source is what you seek,
I’ll gladly give it, take a peek;
Ask for explanation, why?
Explain it? No, I’d rather die!”
As the last word left the sanctity of his lips, fits of anger erupted all over the crowd.
“Organic food sucks!” yelled a woman, whose statement was far from nebulous.
“Ketamine? Is he bananas?” shouted a scribe from a random dent in the floorboards.
“You’re the lizard!” screamed a man, who considered the bard utterly pwned.
“Everyone calm down!” shouted a beetle collector, distraught at the chaos yet unable to quell the village’s rage.
Verbal violence gave way to physical violence, and riots broke out all over the town. The guard was dismayed at the chaos, and yet couldn’t find a valid reason to arrest the bard. As such, the bard quietly slipped away, devilishly grinning from ear to ear in anticipation of his next show in the Featureless Village. The villagers eventually settled down, though the effects of the show were readily apparent; destruction was seen all over the streets, and many villagers fled the town, unable to deal with such an event again. And of course, it would happen again the very next day. The bard came by again and played his song, and the village erupted into riots once again. The cycle continued for days upon days. At one point, however, a villager threw a rock at the bard’s head, severely depleting his mental capacities. The bard continued to sing, though his words were slurred and mispronounced, and he could only ever remember bits of his song. The effect, however, remained quite the same, and riots broke out all the same. This continued for weeks upon weeks, until finally, for whatever reason (perhaps he keeled over from potassium overdose), the bard stopped coming. The village waited in anticipation, but his song could no longer be heard. Things slowly returned to normalcy, the village once again becoming a peaceful place. The worst, however, was yet to come.
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